Attraction

When We Were Children

Remember back in the day when that young girl started hitting you on the arm and you were confused as to what was meant by her actions? You felt she was being childish, but you still continued to say things that would cause her to act out in that fashion even though you acted annoyed.

You both were acting out a mating ritual that neither of you understood emotionally or logically, unaware of the ramifications of those actions. That young girl was attracted to you but tried to defuse her emotions by acting contrary to the feelings she had encountered.

You were also caught-up in this web of emotions, However, unlike her you had to respond as if you were annoyed yet in control. As childish as you may have thought she was acting you never actually wanted it to end. You continued to tease and poke the bear in order to continue this mating ritual, smitten by the arrow of Cupid.

As a man you look back and chuckle thinking about how you both were doing a dance that neither one of you knew the steps. As adults we continue the rituals of mating but the game has changed. It’s no longer as easy as a tap on the arm and a name calling in order to get a reaction.

There’s much more involved.

Attraction Meets Reality

Years have passed and you are sitting at your desk working a 9 to 5 job secretly leering at a woman across the room who barely notices you. She speaks to everyone with a pleasant tone and you wonder how great it would be to have her tell you how much she cares for you.

This is a moment in time where fantasy should meet reality, but you are so into her that you can’t see the forest for the trees.  You walk by her desk several times a day, and you ask her if she needs anything from the stockroom such as pens, paperclips or a notepad, hoping she would tear off a page and give it to you with her phone number on it. She always answers politely with no thank you and quickly turns her attention to whatever it was she was doing before you interrupted her.

You got it bad!!!

Cynthia was a lovely girl you just happen to see each day on the train while going to work. You took the initiative to always save her a seat on the train hoping that she would eventually show some appreciation for your efforts.

You finally found the nerve to ask her out, but she was always too busy to make a date. Finally you gave up and licked your wounds once you saw her laughing and conversing with another guy on the train. In a feeble attempt to mend your scorched ego you tried again to talk to the young lady at your job, just to get ran over like roadkill.

It’s Time for a New Prospective

You need to understand the inner workings of attraction. You must learn to put your ego aside and see the world as it is, not as you believe it should be. Recognize the small nuances of rejection or uncertainty on the part of the person you are attempting to woo.

You will know when true attraction is present, due to the positive responses and ease of communication you both will exhibit. Any signs of agitation on her/him part indicating a lack of interest is a sure sign that there is little to no attraction, and you should avoid further contact on that level.

A person may not be attracted to you at first, but over time develop attraction once getting to know you.  The level of attraction is also important, and you must again gage it realistically. If the attraction level is below 50% you ain’t getting none...LOL! I’ve found that an attraction level over 70% is necessary if you want a romantic relationship to bloom.

Sometimes you need to step away after attempting to romance a person who is not receptive to your advances, this sometimes allows attraction some room to grow. Be willing to move on when you have exhausted all options.

There are various types of attraction such as:

  • Physical/Lustful
  • Romantic
  • Emotional
  • Aesthetic

Each one has it’s place and should be dealt with appropriately. If you misinterpret any of these characteristics you may find yourself drowning in hot water.

Becareful, and remember,

If you play hard to get, you don’t get got!

Take care,
Ejai

 

 

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