I was just thinking about a subject I haven’t thought about in some time concerning getting involved with toxic people. As I remember back in the day some of my past relationships happen to be with several women who might be considered toxic. I must admit after my last experience with a toxic woman I decided to do some soul searching and figure out why I was such a willing participant in her crazy fantasy world.
What I’ve learned about the characteristics of toxic people:
- Toxic people are habitual liars, and will attempt to befriend you using chameleon tactics to reel you in. Then after some time, they will morph into who they really are.
- They have no empathy for you or anyone else; they are more concerned in what benefits them most.
- They usually are great lovers, they use sex as a tool to control you and break down your defenses.
- These people generally have no boundaries; they will do just about anything or anyone to get their way.
- You will notice they have little or no friends, especially those of the same sex.
- They constantly need orbiters. These are individuals who hang around and praise them in hope to get their opportunity to ride. Not knowing that the ride will be bumpy and eventually crash into a wall of regret.
- They will choose from their list of orbiters and use them up and move on to the next victim, someone to whom they call “just a friend.”
- Toxic people are not true to their words, you will find what they say and their actions are not in alignment, causing you to have a WTF moment.
- Toxic people are usually very intelligent people who use their smarts to learn your needs and desires, in order to attract you.
- These people take no responsibility for those they hurt. They will lie to their friends and say you were the bad guy and they are the victim.
- Toxic people have a victim’s mentality, it’s everyone else’s fault why their fantasy world doesn’t go the way they envision.
- Toxic people will cause you to act out of character; you will become more guarded, overly emotional, hyper sensitive and due to the level of drama you might even become physical.
- Toxic people don’t change, they will leave a long line of broken relationships, but will never consider the fact that they might be contributing to that long list of broken dreams.
- Toxic people character traits are usually: insecurity, always the victim, impulsive, unstable relationships, exhibiting low self-esteem and extremely selfish behavior.
- You will notice they have Narcissist traits such as, BPD/HPD personality disorders.
- Toxic people choose people similar to what I was at one time (co-dependent). These people need constant validation.
I suffered with this mister nice guy affliction for many years. I always wondered why I had no problem meeting women, but keeping them was an issue. Co-dependent men and women are easy prey for toxic people. Remember this, the next time you choose a relationship make sure you first do the work necessary to improve yourself and establish some boundaries. Choose a woman/man that really wants you, not one who needs you.
Toxic people need validation and someone who will tell them how special they are. These people can cause drama, but will run to the next victim and cry on their shoulder when the problems they caused are no longer manageable. Toxic people are not problem solvers, they are instigators.
You should be very thankful for your experience with these types of women/men. Why? Because it is a lesson learned, you now have the knowledge necessary to choose a person who may not be toxic. This experience can only make you stronger. Life has many lessons for us and continues to teach us each day that we live.
Toxic people are on a never ending search for happiness and fulfillment. Yet they’ll never understand that true happiness comes from the inside out. You will never be happy when your only source of happiness is based on what others think about you.
( Written by: E. Johnson)