No Need in Looking Back
Hey guys (this can also be advice for women as well), I felt it necessary to help my fellow brethren in acknowledging when to let go of a toxic relationship and move on. At my office we were discussing what would be a good New Year article, and we all agreed that an article helping men move forward from relationships that are no longer worth their time was a good idea.
There are times when the woman wants to leave you so she can try a new lover. She will not state it, she will allow you to be the one to pull the trigger (break-up). Make no mistake she wanted you out of her life long before you uttered the words. Either way it's a good start for a new beginning, she wasn't the woman for you.
I'm not saying all men/women respond this way when breaking up, some prefer to take time out to do some soul searching and correct any flaws in their own personalities. There are those that already know they have issues but nevertheless would rather proceed on in life leaving a trail of broken hearts and toxic memories. -E.J.
The article below was taken from a website called Love Shack and was written by one of their members. Heed the words in this article and move on to a much happier life, remember a breakup is a good thing it allows you another chance at happiness. If it was for you it would have never ended, remember beware of double talk from women claiming to clear their heads or seeking inner peace. The only peace they are looking for is a different piece from someone else. Be more selective men in the new year, and beware of women like this. (E. Johnson)
After being here for a while, and kind of thinking back on my life's experiences, I've compiled this post to explain to recently dumped guys why you really just need to focus on moving on. As far as I'm concerned, anyone dumped, man/woman, should just move on, but its far more true for men, and here is why.
1. You were dumped 4-12 weeks ago
She may have just clued you into what was going on today, but she's been slowly dumping you over a while, at least a month or longer. She's been convincing herself you weren't the one, shes been emotionally detaching from you and the relationship, shes been over judging every *mistake* you made, and shes been telling all her friends and family you've got to go. By the time she drops the bomb on you, you are SO dumped its not even funny.
2. She has a replacement
Before any of the women get up in arms about this one, Im not saying she was cheating, per say. I'm just saying that women usually have their eye on something else, even if its just meaningless sex and some attention. They rarely dump a guy and just spend months in solitude getting over the break. They're almost always right back out with someone else, or at the bars with their girls. She wont need you for sex/attention.
3. Its too late
Trust me, when you hear 'we've got to talk', you're doomed. Its over, and its far too late to do anything about it. I know, you probably asked her a a million times if something was wrong over the last month, and she told you without fail that everything was fine. Guess what? She lied. Shes been telling everyone you suck and shes going to dump you, so not only would she be putting her pride aside to get back with you, she would be dealing with 'I thought you broke up?' from all her friends and family.
4. She really doesn't want to be friends
I know, everyone says they do, and most people might actually feel like they do, but lets be honest - two people that used to date are just horrible friends to each other. The person who got dumped usually only goes along with it to get back together, while the dumper only does it to shed some guilt, and in both cases the alterior motives prove detrimental to the 'friendship'. If you think a girl who dumped you has 5 seconds for you once shes found someone else, good look.
5. NC is just fine with her
Trust me, NC doesn't have the same effect on a woman who dumped you that most here hope it does. She would prefer no contact over any contact that involves you being pathetic, or otherwise making her feel guilty. She might try and hope that you're just fine with everything, but when she realizes you weren't happy about what happened, NC is just fine.
6. She doesn't want you back
At the end of the day, you were dumped because the woman didn't feel like you were the one, or more likely, thought she could do better. Unless she said 'I cant be with you unless x...' she doesn't want you back. She doesn't want you to change, or care if you act differently, or want you to try again, shes done. All doing any of that will do is waste time.
7. If its been longer than 4-6 months, its just not happening
Like NoFoolin said, if its been months, you're going to need a 100 yard hail mary pass to get her back. The likelihood of this working in your favor are about as good as your chances of being asked to join an orgy by a team of female tennis players: not likely. If that much time has passed with no word from your ex about wanting to talk/get together/etc...shes over you. She has no desire to see you at all.
There are other lesser reasons, too, but the main point of this post is to let the guys know that women leave, and they leave for good. Even if you did manage to get her back, its going to be short lived. Ive gotten second chances with 2 women, and both times - it was a complete and utter waste. It just wasted time, because truth be told, they were never 100% back in.
Guys, when a girl 'needs to talk', just hear her out, say you understand, and disappear. No need to draw anything out longer than it needs to, and no point wasting your time and energy on it any longer.