Respect is a positive feeling of esteem or deference for a person or other entity (such as a nation or a religion), and also specific actions and conduct representative of that esteem. Respect can be a specific feeling of regard for the actual qualities of the one respected (e.g., "I have great respect for her judgment"). It can also be conduct in accord with a specific ethic of respect. Respect can be both given and/or received. Depending on an individual's cultural reference frame, respect can be something that is earned. Respect is often thought of as earned or built over time. Often, continued caring interactions are required to maintain or increase feelings of respect among individuals. Chivalry, by some definitions, contains the outward display of respect.  Respect should not be confused with tolerance. The antonym and opposite of respect is disrespect.

Self-respect can be summed up by saying that it’s an acknowledgment of your inherent dignity and worth. Please note that it’s not tied to any particular achievement or ability: every person on this planet is born worthy of respect. In practice, this respect is not always given, but it’s important for you to know that self-respect is not necessarily predicated on meeting certain ideals.

To earn respect, you must be willing to remain calm and collected regardless of the situation. If you lose your cool and allow emotions to take over, it will be much more difficult for others to view you in a positive light.

As you develop confidence, it’s important that you remain humble. There’s nothing more unattractive to others than if you act arrogant. Instead, treat others with kindness even if they won’t do the same for you. When you treat others with respect, some will appreciate the kindness you show and may respond in kind. While you won’t be able to please everyone, by being nice to all you will gain respect from some of your peers.

"When you change how you feel about yourself and your behavior, people will treat you differently."

Chrome Vector IconThe easiest way to lose respect is to say you’ll do something and don’t follow through on it. If you want respect, you must show that you are dependable. When you commit to meetings or obligations, be sure to follow through on them. When you become someone that others can count on, it is then that you earn their respect.

Ultimately, earning respect means you naturally convey confidence and leadership qualities. You don’t allow emotions to control the situation. Instead, you control it. Further, you are willing to earn respect by being kind to others and be dependable. When you develop these five traits, you will earn the respect of others.

Express love for them with confidence.

Look for ways to show your family members you love them (but don’t just say the words). Take the golden rule a little further and determine your husband and children's love languages. Make sure you love them the way they want to be loved, not the way you want to be loved. Give, love and edify them (from a place of strength and confidence) and they will respect you. If you give, serve and love them (from a place of fear) because you need their approval, they won’t respect you. This kind of giving is about getting what you need, it is not about them.

Work on your self-esteem.

Your spouse, children and friends are not responsible for giving you self-worth. You are.
You must learn to value yourself.  You must honor and respect yourself and if necessary ask or demand what you want and need. No one else is going to take care of you if you don’t.

You must trust that you are good enough right now. People with good self-esteem have a strong sense of their place in the world. They understand who they are and why they are here. They trust that they are good enough right now. (If you struggle with this, a counselor or coach could help you change your thinking.)

Constantly work on improving yourself, growing and learning. People who are learning new things and developing their talents have a better sense of self-worth.
Speak your truth in a loving way. Stand up for yourself without being emotional or dramatic. Drama queens (who play the victim role and beg to be loved) do not earn anyone’s respect. You must handle yourself with confidence. You must keep your emotions and fears under control. You must not lose your temper or cry over small things. This is immature behavior.

Working on yourself is the most important thing you can do to improve your relationships.

(E. Johnson)



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