What defines a man?

What defines a man?

There are so many categories that can be representative of male behavior. While attempting to focus on one particular trait is delusional and erroneous to say the least.  Someone may have one impression of what a man should be, while someone else will have an alternative view.  We men spend much of our lives attempting to fit within the structure of our societies, and at times feel we are at a loss when determining who we truly are.

We focus so much on what people expect of us and forget that all men are not the same, e.g. There are men who love to chase women, while there are others who prefer to be chased.  There are men who love the hunt, and there are those who lack the confidence to chase, for fear of failure.

There is a small group of men who believe in honesty and others who use whatever devices at their disposal to get what they want, including lying and deception. When you look at both of these types of men do you consider one to be more manly than the other?

I say no, each man must travel his own road, in his own way.

Who should have the right to define you?

What determines what a man is (to me), is the willingness to accept his fate and look fear in the eye. He is unashamed or stricken by societies rules, but able to render an outcome that most people might find alarming.  He is being a man, strong, determined, focused and forthright in his own mind.  He doesn’t need women or men to validate his eternal struggles that ultimately rendered his decisions.

He is a rock and holds true to his nature. He is a hunter, provider and destined to set the rules for his own life. He must be willing to pay the cost if such rules are detrimental to him or those who believe in him.

 (Below is the actual thread I copied and pasted for you to read):

Guys: Women to Avoid

Let's make a list. Ladies can add but create a new thread for Guys to avoid OK?

1- Drama Queen - You know the type, if life isn't a soap opera she's not happy. In fact she's only happy when everyone else isn't. Loves to talk about folks behind their backs and is most satisfied when she find a way to pit people against each other. If she stubs her wittle toe the world will know and everyone has to stop what they're doing. Ends up with a guy who puts up with her stuff, a semi doormat who she eventually cheats on.

2- Attention Whore - Seems really friendly at first but after a while she just gets on everyone's nerves. If the conversation stops being about her she moves on to her next victim. Odd thing is once a guy really starts paying attention to her she dumps him to find a guy who treats her like dirt and mostly ignores her.

3- The Flirty Flaky Fake- Ohhh this one is annoying. She seems so nice and ditsy but beneath that is a conniving mind. This one almost always has way more male friends than female friends. That's because she flirts with every guy and makes them think they have a chance so they keep hanging around. She loves this because all she needs to do is feed them just enough scraps of attention and she gets attention, free meals and drinks. It's like playing chess with her man pawns and secretly she laughs at them. She ends up pi**ing off the women she meets because she's so self centered. This one cannot be counted on for much of anything unless there's something in it for her. Can't handle monogamy or responsibility and it's all about her ego getting stroked.

4- The Single Mom – She has a stable of male friends, (some are married). She uses them for validation and for backup in case her main relationship end.  These guys are waiting their turn to sleep with her and if they hang around long enough they may get their chance or their turn.  Most women hate her because they know what she is all about. Her bed never gets cold, she has another in the background  She is on the prowl and should be avoided at all costs.

Pregnancy and Single Mom
(Single mom responds):

I guess the world is flat to some...

Apparently and according to this thread, men should avoid ALL WOMEN. Odds are that every women will have one or many of the "flaws" listed here and much more that are missing. 

On the single mother topic- If a women is capable of managing what was intended to be done by 2 "parents" alone with grace, she is a double blessing. Maybe, she was a bit of an idiot to actually believe the man she went half on a baby with??! So now she becomes undatable by your standards? Nice. 

I am a single parent, a daughter, sister, friend, career woman, attractive, and self-sustained. If a man doesn't find me "dateable", then maybe you're not so much of a man... go find some puppet to have on your strings or beat Steve Jobs at submitting a patent for an iChick. 

Bag of skittles...

(My response to the single mom):

This is why I wrote this article.  I was with her until the last paragraph of her statement where she attempts to define what a man is. Just because some men choose not to date or have a relationship with a single mom in no way means they are less of a man.

Every day there are women who constantly flake or deny any type of relationship to a man she finds unacceptable to her. She may not be attracted to him or she might have an issue with him having children or divorced…etc. Yet no one is saying she is not a woman for making the choices that she feels is acceptable for her.  All she did by making this statement is give credence to the thread he started.

Yet when men choose to set parameters and boundaries for their own defense from what they see as drama, their manhood is questioned.  This is society’s’ way of controlling how men should act and in an deplorable way issue an attack on his manhood.

Personally I have dated and had relations with single mothers and none ended well. Even friends of mine also found single moms to be off limits.  I found the women to be extreme liars, incapable of maintaining a strong structured relationship, overbearing and always the victim.  Once I got to know them I was able to see past the mask and lies, I now see why the other men left them.  This is just my experience, I’m sure there are good women out there who are single and would be great in a relationship, I can only speak well of 2 or 3 single women I know personally who may be good relationship material.

"Real Man"

An idiotic "standard" that humans have come up with to make some men feel inferior, and make some men / women, feel superior.  This has very little to do with the substance of the male being, it is a slang term used to control how men think and act.

Women should never use this term, because they have no idea of what a man feels, as well as what he experiences in his daily travels.

Good luck men, stay Alpha!

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