(Written by E. Johnson)
There comes a time in your life when you need to reevaluate where you are headed and how far you’ve come. As I look back on my life I have met a few women and men who have left a strong positive impression on me that helped me become the man I am today. In the last two years I have noticed where my weaknesses are, and have vehemently struggled to fix or eradicate the negative influences of my personality.
There have been situations in my past that prompted this need to search deep within myself and develop an entirely new perspective, which is my new model for success. Once you’ve encountered pain and confusion to a level never experienced before, you do what you must to correct the circumstances that create this tragedy and fix it promptly.
You may never be the same again (and that’s OK), yet if you handle these issues correctly with personal growth as the main denominator, you can still learn and become a better version of yourself. I no longer blame others for the pitfalls I’ve experienced in my life.
Many times we run into lost souls who are going through their own personal hardships and when our worlds collide we lose direction, due to a bad case of weak or inefficient boundaries. When someone tells you they are in pain and all you do is ignore the obvious, then you are no more an asset to them or yourself. I’ve learned to establish boundaries and I don’t merely glance at the obvious and pretend it doesn’t exist.
In your life you may experience mental and physical pain brought on by a lack of self-control and failure to acknowledge the obvious. I’ve learned that people and circumstances aren’t always as they seem. We must learn to remove ourselves from situations and people that can hurt us due to their struggles with their own demons. One thing about life is that it is not forgiving; you make your own heaven and hell here on earth.
Not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever, some are only there for a day, month, season or simply a few years. Then there are people that truly love you and care for your well being that will be in your life until you die.
With each interaction there is a lesson to be learned, you must be willing to engage these relationships with vigor and a normal degree of acceptance.
Remember the good times; accept some fault for the bad ones. No one is completely void of fault, as we ultimately accept the roles we play in the happy, festive moments of our interactions with others.
Every day is another struggle for me to do the right thing and be thankful for those who have become an intricate part of my life. Each day is different, some days I wake in a joyous loving mood, and other days I am determined and serious, constantly thinking of painful situations in my past.
As I said before “YOU WILL NEVER BE THE SAME, AGAIN.”
I believe pain is even more beneficial to making you whole again than constant happiness. Through pain you will no doubt feel the desire to fix or build up personal defenses that will positively enhance your growth. Life is what you make it, and only through pain will you effectively strive to do more constructive things in your life.
“People will do more to avoid pain than to gain pleasure.”
Learn to not only listen to what people say, but watch what they do. Most of time you may find that their words aren’t consistent with their actions. Threats to your inner-peace are at stake, so be mindful of what lurks around the bend. I admit I am not a saint and will never be. I’ve done things in my past that question my own integrity and morals. Yet each day I strive to do better, and that is all that is expected of you. So be strong and you will eventually reach your goals, once you believe in yourself others will learn to believe in you. Don’t blame anyone else for your failures, but you.
"Forgive and learn to care for those that hurt you"
This site is my therapy and my voice. I am able to share my creative side along with some personal truths I’ve experienced in my short time on this earth. In order to be successful you must rid yourself of people and situations that are there to hurt you and bring you down. Some do this under the guise of friendship, or you might be sleeping with the enemy. Wish them well and don’t look back, yes…it’s painful and you may be feeling guilty on some level, but remember this feeling is temporary and ultimately fleeting. Eventually you will become whole again, and you will know that you have found your center.
Bless You, and Good Luck.